Don’t fake it

Not what you think. I’m talking about faking an agent submission.

What do I mean by that?

Well, by now, most of us ought to know how the submission process works. In its simplest form, you start with a query, and if that is approved, you are usually invited to send sample chapters or pages. If those are also enjoyed, then it’s time to send in the full manuscript in the hopes of getting that phone call sometime in the next couple of months.

And what happens when that initial query is rejected? You sniffle a lot, perhaps weep into your pillow for a bit, and then buck up, pick your next agent or agency  to query and move on, right?

Or do you fake the agent’s email and send in a bogus partial submission that they never actually requested, believing that they might be conned into thinking they did in fact want to see your work? Like this guy did…

Read it all yet? Is that thumping noise the sound of you banging your head against the nearest wall? Yup. The best part, in my opinion, is that he submitted chapters 4-6 which, in his mind, are likely the chapters where “the story gets good,” a classic mistake in showing your work to anyone. This guy is on the same level as the crook who pulls out a gun on a bank tellar who is sitting behind six inches of bulletproof glass. I’m kind of surprised she didn’t post his name despite whatever privacy laws are in place…but let me assure you, that name has likely been shared with the other literary agents she corresponds with. A lot of communication goes on between agencies, especially when idiots are concerned.

So don’t fake it. It’s not gonna make either party happy in the end.

I see that smile.

 Subscribe in a reader