Don’t take it personally

Since I’ve had to handle a few rejections slipped into my mailbox and inbox lately, I did what any other writer would do–I sought proof that these rejections did not mean my proposal/query/manuscript was only useful for picking dog droppings off the sidewalk. Cause no matter how thick a skin we build, that initial tear open of the envelope and the words “Thanks, but no thanks” still prick a teensy bit. Don’t they?

I think I’ve said before that part of me is, in a way, glad to get any response at all—positive or negative. It’s validation that says I’m at least trying. Anyways, the point of this was to highlight the link at the top of this post. It’s an older article by an editor who tries to remind writers not to take rejection personally. There is no secret code of form letters or hidden cabal trying to wreck your career. Most times, a rejection is just a flat No. Nothing more or less. You may never know the reasons behind it, but it’s silly to conjure up all sorts of psychotherapy issues to afflict the rejector with.

It just didn’t work for them at the time. Maybe they filled their literary quota for the season. Maybe they don’t handle that specific genre you sent them. Or maybe your story was a tie with another just-as-good manuscript and the coin flip came down in their favor. These things happen. The important thing is that we don’t bemoan this and belittle the people behind the rejection. And it surprises me how many people are willing to blame rejections on conspiracy or personal vendetta or bad breath. It’s funny to read through some of those responses. For instance, there’s a series of four rejections from different publishers on the same book, and each publisher gives almost identical reasons for why they didn’t buy the book. Does the author consider the feedback and rework his proposal? Nope. They just keep getting angrier at the editors for not accepting their wonderful idea. (There are nicer responses, of course, but it’s the angry ones that make me chuckle)

All this to get a few rejections out of my system. It’s really not so bad. Without those rejections, there never would be a chance for acceptance. And of all the dozens or hundreds of submissions one makes as a writer for a single manuscript, it only takes one Yes to open the door.

I see that smile.

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