This post kind of ties in to my previous one about stupid characters. The whole idea that we should never insult our readers’ collective intelligences by making the characters do nonsensical things for the sake of plot. Now, the Evil Overlord List may derive a lot of its points from sources such as James Bond villains, Star Trek baddies, and otherwise, but this could be a good primer on “ways to avoid the cliché supervillain in your book” list, if you’re so inclined to read it that way.
Here are a few if my favorites, torn out for your viewing pleasure. Now, raise your right hand and repeat after me…
#30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
#98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others’ lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
And how many times have we seen this one?
#45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say “And here is the price for failure,” then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, you’ve been a wonderful audience today. Go check out the rest of the list and enjoy some good belly laughs. Or at least a few chuckles. I’ll see you Monday.
I see that smile.