You’ve gone and done it. You’ve finished a novel. Now you have this huge heap of paper sitting on your desk (or your hard drive, in which case it’s a huge heap of electrons). Lots of wordsiness. What are you going to do with this thing? You may have an idea of where you’re going to send it. Maybe there’s a publisher or a literary agent you are dying to propose this brilliant piece of fiction to. But how to do it? What is the best way to ensure your book gets the attention it deserves when it arrives in the mail?
Worry no more. Here, in painstaking detail, is a step-by-step process on professional manuscript submission. Even better, they’ve thrown in some bonus material by showing you how to prepare a cover letter as well. The packaging and SASE tips are priceless, and you know your proposal will be remembered for all of time.
As a sampler, here is a portion of the technique employed:
Using a standard butane handtorch, bring your stamp to approximately 2000 degrees centigrade. (Stainless steel will glow cherry-red.)
Isn’t that precious?
(Warning: some assembly required. Do not attempt in the vicinity of small children or animals. Some welding experience preferable.)
I see that smile.