So that’s where they’ve been hiding

It all makes sense now. Vampires are real. They’ve been hiding among us all this time, cleverly disguised. But now the truth is revealed.

The Peacock Vampire

(I swear, someone is going to make a movie about this someday)

But think about it! Those beautiful feathers could be considered mesmeric, what with the colorful eyes, giving rise to the myth of a vampire’s hypnotic power. That sharp beak? Not just for pecking at grubs. Oh, no. That vain, strutting show they put on? Of course vampires have often been portrayed as aloof, of unearthly beauty, often gliding through the highest echelons of human culture and society without us having a clue as to the true beast they contain.

I give my commendations to the unknown hero who risked so much to expose this threat for the sake of humanity’s survival. And if anyone out there doesn’t heed this warning, well it’s too late for you. You’re obviously under the sway of the vampiric peacock overlords. Sucks to be you.

Now, if you’ll pardon me, I’ve got to round up some garlic and visit the nearest petting zoo.

(all this is yet more proof that no matter how imaginative we may be, there are some things you just can’t make up)

I see that smile.