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They really thought of everything

Remember that guy who faked his death to try and get out of a cell phone contract? He probably could’ve used this article as a reference. (I came on this through research browsing, not because I’m planning anything, I swear.)

How to fake your own death

It lays everything out in steps for you, nice and bite-sized.

1. Choose the method of your demise. What’s your cuppa? They all have their pros and cons, like having to produce a body or getting the police involved.

2. Research. This is key, especially with all the CSI shows going on these days. People are a lot sharper at spotting stray hairs, footprints, blood samples and all those nasty things that they could track you down by.

3. Remember not to tell anyone that you’re going to do this. Kind of spoils the surprise.

The article even tells how to reemerge as a new person, including one person’s statement that it’s supposedly easy to go officials in Haiti to draw up fake death certificates for a meager $500 bribe. The circumstances that led to them knowing this remain a mystery.

So has anyone done this and succeeded? Feel free to brag.

I see that smile.

4 Comments

  1. UKSteve
    UKSteve August 31, 2007

    I’m actually dead, but am faking my continued existence.

  2. Josh
    Josh August 31, 2007

    Impressive. Is there a term for that? Or does it just fall under the label of “haunting”?

  3. La Chanson de Phoenix
    La Chanson de Phoenix September 10, 2007

    Oh my! I thought #3 would have been a no-brainer, but I suppose they wouldn’t feel the need to include if somebody hadn’t already done that.

  4. Josh
    Josh September 10, 2007

    Yeah, well, some people just like to brag…Picture the cocktail party, and that one guy in the corner:

    “Yeah, I totally faked my death last week. No one suspects a thing.”

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