After observing some major holidays over the past year, I’ve come up with a modernized list of their meanings.
Easter- The day Jesus rose from the dead to hide little colored eggs and chocolate bunnies all across the world.
St. Patrick’s Day- Celebrating the life of the guy who invented green beer.
Christmas- The holiday of economic growth.
Valentine’s- Singles Awareness Day
Fourth of July- Look at the pretty colors! (Also celebrated by sparking statewide forest fires with illegal fireworks)
Thanksgiving- A nationwide food eating contest. (Turducken, anyone?)
New Year’s Eve- How much free champagne does it take to make a ball-dropping ceremony a fascinating, life-changing event, rather than a simple display of gravity?
April Fool’s Day- National paranoia and cynicism day
Halloween- The day when children rise up and celebrate their god-given freedom to accept candy from total strangers.
Anyone want to add to the list?
I see that smile.
Those are hilarious!
What do you come up with for Arbor Day? Or Earth Day?
I think you need to amend “New Year’s Day” in your list to read “New Year’s Eve”.
Because New Year’s Day is widely celebrated as International Hangover Day.
Earth day- When we unite to rationalize our minimalist recycling efforts and really separate the glass from the plastic, just because we care.
And you’re so right, Goblin. New Year’s Eve it is.
Josh-I love your wit! I miss you and Jen. Hope the apt hunt is going well! love you both!
KB